Going Into the Pain

I found what I thought was some powerful wording, to me at least, when I was tidying up the living room this morning in, of all places, my horoscope..

“Every painful event that has happened to you either brought or will bring you a gift. Part of today is spent going into the pain to find that gift. That gift can never be found by avoiding the pain.”

Eating addictively IS avoiding the pain. Part of the healing and growing process for those of us who use food as a drug is “going into the pain” — when we finally feel strong enough to do so.  Often we start the beginnings of feeling strong enough to do so when we stop eating drug foods.

Going into the pain is scary and is not the be-all-end-all, especially the first few brief ventures in.  But for me it’s turned out to be a journey-long process that has slowly resulted in me not being so darned afraid of any kind of pain, especially emotional pain.  In the end, it turned out it really wasn’t so much about the pain after all.  It was only the fear of feeling it.  We do some amazingly painful things to ourselves in order to protect ourselves from that other, actually easier-to-deal-with pain, anger and resentment that we’ve been hiding from.